Getting Ready for Taiwan

No, I’m still at Berkeley at this moment. Just wanna get this site up and running before my trip.

The main purpose of this trip is to attend my grandpa’s funeral on July 23, 2006. He passed away peacefully during his sleep on July 6, 2006. I don’t know any other details other than what was mentioned above.

Frankly, I don’t know much about Grandpa other than that he was a nice man and he blinded his eyes from heartbreaking at my grandma’s funeral 30 years ago. I came to the States 16 years ago, so I hadn’t had much contact with him. But even before then, we only visited him a couple of times a year and it was always my mom doing all the talk. This is why it’s hard for me to feel any painful loss; not because I’m cold hearted, but because we really just weren’t that close.

My mom, on the other hand, is sad. She lost Grandma 30 years ago and had to assume Grandma’s role to take care of her 5 younger sisters and brothers. Grandma died of torturous ovary cancer at the tender age 50. She had suffered enormous pain early on but would not tell anyone, because the family was too poor and she did not want to waste the meager resource. By the time that she could no longer hided her pain, it was too late; even the best pain killers couldn’t alleviate her suffering. It was hard for everyone: The family wanted her to live as long as the drug would allow, but at the same time they questioned themselves if it was more humane to let her go. Grandma struggled to stay alive, not so much for herself, but for the sake of the family. Finally even she couldn’t hold on any more and died of agony. After that, Grandpa lost his eyesight. Forever.

The only comfort to my mom is that Grandpa did not suffer the way Grandma did. He looked peaceful, as if he was asleep as usual. I wonder if he and Grandma are finally able to meet in Nirvana? And he can finally hold her hands again and tells her how much he misses her all these years?